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Posts Tagged ‘tobacco’

it’s a floor wax, it’s a dessert topping!

I'd love to spit some beechnut in that dude's eyes (365-206)

There comes a point where you cross the line from consumer whore to consumer weirdo. Todd crossed that line yesterday when he came home with this.

He finds the strangest things in the 7-11 by his office. Some of them (the sunkist cream soda) work out well, some of them, well…. I am starting to think Todd is going to end up in some backwoods town in the south, sitting on his rickety front porch with a shotgun in his hand and a spittoon by his side, daring anyone to step on his property. The guy bought a Pabst Blue Ribbon patch for his jacket. And he doesn’t drink.

And now he brings this stuff home.

SNUS? First of all, that is the stupidest name for a product I’ve ever heard. It doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. "Hey baby, want to share some SNUS with me?" It sounds like some kind of sexual position that would end up with 40 entries on urban dictionary.

Camel promotes this as "it’s not snuff, it’s not chewing tobacco!" or something like that.

So what is it? Basically it’s little teabags of nicotine that smell like gum. You put it in your mouth, get your nicotine fix and freshen your breath at the same time. If wanted to be teabagged, I’d….never mind.

Really. Just light a god damn cigarette and get it over with. Smoking looks a hell of a lot more dignified than walking around with a mini teabag stuck in front of your teeth and you talking like a teenager with a new retainer. Oh yea. Sexy stuff.

Says Todd: "But I’m not spitting! I’m swallowing!"

Yea. Pleasure For Wherever, indeed.

Well, the little metal container is neat. Makes a nifty little spittoon, too.

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