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365-93: thorn in my side

thorn in my side

Day 93 of 365: a year in songs and photos
Song: Quicksand, Thorn in my Side

This was an accidental picture. I forgot what setting I had the camera on and the flash went off. I wrote off the shot. Later when I was going through the photos I took outside today (none of which I liked) I decided this was the only keeper. Go figure.

I’m not going to write about thorns in my side, though. That could take days.

I want to tell you how I am an idiot and almost killed myself today.

It was a miserable, cold, rainy, windy, disgusting New York day. It even thundered, in the middle of winter. The weather was treacherous at times; the rain would let up a bit and then all of a sudden come down in a windblown deluge for about ten minutes, immediately flooding the streets (my ridiculously high property taxes still do not afford me a proper drainage system, I guess).

I had made lunch plans with a dear friend I hadn’t seen since before my vacation and didn’t want to break them, so I ventured out of the office at noon and headed to the diner, despite the rational side of my brain telling me this wasn’t good driving weather. Who listens to their rational side, anyhow?

I was cruising along at a nice clip down a main street. When I say “a nice clip” I mean I was probably going too fast for the weather conditions. But there was no one else on the road. I was alone, thinking how the roads really weren’t as bad as everyone said they were. What wimps! Ype, just me, the rain, the Von Bondies on the stereo and………..holy shit, when did they put a lake in the middle of the road?? All of a sudden, my car felt like a giant, unseen hand had taken control of it. It lifted a little bit and pulled left and pulled right and my windshield was plastered with a huge wave of water so I couldn’t see and as the car was hydroplaning sideways through the enormous puddle, I looked out my side window to try to get my bearings and all I saw was the cement of an underpass and some guardrails and my life flash before my eyes.

Now, I’ve been in accidents before. I was in one not too long ago where I knew I was going to be hit from behind before it happened and all I could do was look in my rear view mirror and prepare myself for death (obviously, the death part never happened). I was doing much the same today. Just nonchalantly thinking to myself, as I was flying through air and water (allow me some hyperbole here, please) “Gee, I’m going to die now.” And then I thought “I hope someone remembers to feed the cat when I’m gone.” And just as I was about to renounce my agnosticism and repent for my plethora of sins, the car was back on solid ground and I was on my merry way to a cheeseburger and french fries.

It took about fifteen seconds for the whole thing to transpire. I think I missed two lines of the song that was playing while I was airborne. When the car settled down again, I played it real cool like and just started singing again without missing a beat. Just in case anyone was looking. And I’m sure if anyone was looking, they were saying “Wow, that asshole sure is lucky she didn’t kill herself.” What that person would not see was how bad my hands were shaking.

I drove about 20mph the rest of the way to the diner and took a different road back to work.

The moral of the story, kids? SPEED KILLS.

Well, it could.

And now, I must get Every Rose Has Its Thorn out of my head.

(By the way, the song used tonight is in my top 20 of favorite songs ever)

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