Posts Tagged ‘old stuff’

things i have learned

things i have learnedI’ve been going through my old blog writing for two days and I’ve barely scratched the surface. Man, I wrote a lot of crap. But I have been able to pull aside a few things so far that I like enough to repost here – maybe, updated, edited and erased of all the drunken grammatical errors.

originally posted: 2002 (has been updated/refreshed)

Things I Have Learned

  • There are two kinds of people: those who will tell you to make lemonade out of life’s lemons, and those who know you hate lemonade.
  • life will never ever imitate your favorite tv show
  • having one good friend is always better than having 20 so-so acquaintances
  • no matter how many drugs you are given, childbirth will still hurt like a bastard
  • special edition of anything is usually not very special
  • xyzzy
  • a band’s third cd is usually the worst
  • don’t fall asleep with the history channel on
  • there is no such thing as a permanent record
  • things like “heartache” and “lump in the throat” are not just sayings, they are real physical inflictions.
  • your parents were right. so was yoda.
  • never trust a guy who says “there is nothing in this joint besides pot”
  • never apologize for being who you are. unless you are a serial killer.
  • if you want to be the kind of person that spreads gossip, be prepared to be the kind of person who is the subject of gossip
  • don’t go in the basement when there is a homicidal maniac on the loose
  • lower your expectations, and you are never disappointed
  • you get what you tolerate
  • unconditional love is a gift. never take it for granted
  • the rock stars you idolized when growing up will eventually become old and bitter and you will be embarrassed to tell anyone that you once wrote them a fan letter and sealed it with a kiss
  • stuffed animals do not come alive after you are asleep
  • sometimes it’s ok to be selfish
  • if you have doubt about something, trust your feelings
  • there is no shame in buying guide books for video games
  • people only change if they want to, not because you want them to
  • don’t sweat the small stuff
  • it’s all small stuff

What you have learned?


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