Posts Tagged ‘hannah montana’


Before, during, after. We’re not quite done yet, and I’ll have some better before/after pictures later in the week. And that ugly ass couch is going very soon.

When I woke up this morning and walked into the living room, I was almost surprised. This is not what I’m used to walking into every day. It’s so different. So…nice.

My daughter remarked the other day that our house has finally become a home. That’s not just cosmetic. It’s a lot of things in the mix that made her say that. But that’s for another day. Right now I just want to sit back and enjoy what we’ve done without thinking of the emotional ramifications of tearing down your old life and building a new one.

The best part about all this renovation (and forthcoming renovations) is that we have done 98% of the work ourselves. We only called in a professional twice – for the carpet installation and for some heavy duty spackling work that had to be done when we ripped the ceiling molding down. Everything so far, both inside and outside the house, was done with our own hands. The sense of satisfaction from that is a beautiful thing. Our Home Depot bill, not so much.

Another new addition to our home is my sister and her baby. Well, not really new. She has always lived upstairs (we bought this house together three years ago), but she has been staying at my parents house since her husband died in April. She finally came back home this week.

It’s great to have my nephew upstairs. He’s 16 months old. Kids are pretty entertaining at that age. The best part is, I can go up and play with him then bail out when he gets cranky.

Yesterday, he was watching some weird show. Wonder Pets. What the hell? When did kids programs get so creepy? Classroom pets that suddenly take on human traits when everyone leaves the school. On the episode I watched, they were rescuing a chimpanzee who was lost in space. Hello? How many classrooms keep a chimpanzee? And how far into space can you travel inside a school? Am I reading too much into this? Did you know I have a weird hang up about anthropomorphism?

There’s something really bizarre about the way this show is animated. They use real pictures of animals, not cartoons. And everything is done in song, like a freaky opera performed by strange woodland creatures who suffer from delusions of grandeur. It feels more like an Adult Swim program than a children’s show. Between that and Lazy Town and I have to wonder what the hell happened to all the good stuff? Don’t kids watch Sesame Street anymore? Whatever happened to simplicity? Counting to ten? Where is the love for Super Grover??

Sure, my kids grew up on Barney. But looking back, being forced to watch the purple dino wasn’t so bad compared to the shit parents have to look at today. Have you seen Lazy Town? It’s like watching someone else’s acid trip. “Hey kids, look at this! This is what life looks like when you take ten hits of mescaline and drink a bottle of Boones Farm wine!” Eh, maybe it’s a good life lesson (did I ever tell you my mescaline story? do you want to read it?).

Maybe there’s too many choices for kids out there. Too many channels devoted to mesmerizing your child all day long. Too many shows dedicated to teaching your children how to be consumer whores. Love the show? Buy the cereal! Buy the figures! See the movie! Wear the pajamas! Eat the ice pops! Guzzle the beer!

Wait. That’s not a half bad idea. So many parents get wrapped up in what their kids love (I did see a minivan festooned with dozens of I Heart Harry Potter stickers the other day) that they buy these products more for themselves than the kids (no, I am not pointing the finger AWAY from myself here. Remind me to tell you the Power Rangers story. Really, remind me) that marketing beer with beloved children’s characters would be all kinds of awesome. Jimmy Neutron 40 oz malt liquor! Dora the Explorer Tequila!

I came a long way from talking about what we’ve done to our living room. How did I get here? How much coffee have I had today?

Too much, is always the answer.

I think I need a Hannah Montana Wine Cooler (five awesome flavors!) to relax.

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