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The Party Mom

This woman in Virginia is going to jail for allowing her 16 year old son and his friends to drink in her home.

Interesting, as I was going to write a little something about this subject today, anyhow. The daughter (17) is having a party at our house in two weeks. Most of her friends are of the straight-edge variety, but still, I’ve warned her: there is no drinking on my property. I will call the parent of anyone who brings any alcohol into my yard.

I’m not trying to be a hard ass. I’m trying to protect my ass. There’s a new law here that means jail time for those caught serving alcohol to minors. Whether or not you actually served it doesn’t matter. If they are drinking in your home, you are responsible. Besides, what message does it send to your kids and their friends if you are implying that they need alcohol to have a good party?

Yea, I know what I was doing at my daughter’s age. I know what most kids this age do. That doesn’t mean I have to condone it.

My problem with this Virginia women is that many news articles have been sympathetic to her, and she thinks she did the right thing, not the wrong thing.

Maybe if it was just her kid she was serving alcohol to, I wouldn’t be so unsympathetic toward her. But she not only gave a bunch of other kids liquor, she purposely misled their parents about it.

When you have kids over your house, you become responsible for them. Letting them do something – something illegal – that their parents don’t want them to do is, simply, wrong.

Does she deserve such a lengthy jail term for this? Probably not. But that’s the law they have in Virginia and she should have thought about that before she went through with her plan. You break the law, you deal with the consequences if you get caught. Giving alcohol to someone else’s underage kid, regardless of whether or not they were going to drive, is not only illegal, but a completely irresponsible thing to do.

I discussed this story with my own daughter when I told her the “no alcohol” rule for her party. She responded with “We have plenty of fun without drinking. My friends don’t need alcohol to have a good time.” I’m not naive enough to think that once she goes off to college she will still adhere to that, but for now she is a 17 year old living in my home and she’ll abide by my rules. I’m just happy that she thinks it’s a good rule.

Way before I had children, back when I thought I knew everything, I always said I was going to be the “cool” parent and not be as strict as my own parents. But I found out real quick that being the “cool” parent often means not being a good parent. I don’t believe in the whole “they’re going to drink anyhow, so let them drink at home” thing. Why start them off thinking that getting fall-down drunk is ok? Why let them believe that a party isn’t a party unless someone is puking into the living room plants? Yea, they are probably going to go to another party another night at another house and there will be booze and liquor. Hopefully, my insistence on no alcohol at my own house and my daughter’s attitude toward it will keep her from drinking at a party where the “cool” parents live.

I can’t control what my kids do when they are not at home, but I can make sure I lay the groundwork for them to know what responsible behavior is by setting an example in our house.

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