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Posts Tagged ‘candy’

candy: from worst to first

waiter, there's a finger in my m&ms
I’ll have you know I went to the store and bought a bunch of candy just to take a photo for this post. That’s how I roll.

Yesterday we tackled the worst candy. Most of us can agree that circus peanuts are the devil and that’s a good thing. We’re sort of on the same page here. But I thought we’d give our favorite candy a chance to shine as well. I’m all about the equal time.

For me, there is no question as to the best candy. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

https://i1.wp.com/fasterthantheworld.com/heaveninmymouth.gif

I’m not a huge chocolate fan. I like it, but not enough to eat a whole bar of just chocolate. I need to have it mixed with something. It’s like drinking. Rum is ok, but I wouldn’t drink it straight. It needs a mixer. It needs Coke. So I think of peanut butter as chocolate’s mixer.

A more recent discovery is the Three Musketeers Dark Chocolate Mint bar. AISOT*, biting into one of those is a religious experience. It’s like God came in my mouth.

Yes, I am going to hell. But I’m taking you all with me.

Anyhow, here’s your chance to give props to your favorite candies. And anyone who says Mounds or Almond Joy will immediately be branded as the Anti Christ. Really, who the hell names their candy Mounds? Because all I can think of is, well…..sex. And I don’t want to confuse sex with coconuts. Although once I wore a coconut bra during a bachelorette party. While singing Sister Christian. But still, that has nothing to do with coconut covered candy.

Off topic again. Let’s stick to favorite candy.

*As I Said On Twitter (stolen from Lileks)

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as i continue to deride circus peanuts

My “hate” post this morning opened up a can of candy worms. I had no idea that circus peanuts were such a volatile subject.

For the record, we are talking about these circus peanuts:


Those orange, marshmallow type things that taste and feel like styrofoam soaked in Triaminic. I’m not saying there’s something wrong with you if you like them, I’m just saying, your taste buds are broken. Think of it as a handicap or disability. I bet you could get some kind of special license plate for that, too. “Oh, let him park close to the store….he likes circus peanuts.” The small font is for hushed tones. Because people always talked in hushed tones about someone else’s idiosyncrasies. Except me. I’m calling you out right here. Weirdo.

Anyhow, I thought this would be a good idea for a debate, as debates seem to be all the rage these days. And really, who wants to spend their time talking about Mr. Dow’s Wild Ride or the tanking of the economy or which candidate picks his nose and eats it. Let’s debate the important issues in life. Like, what is the worst candy out there?

Obviously, I am going with circus peanuts. But there are other perpetrators of bad taste on my list:
Mary Janes
Tootsie Rolls
Twizzlers
Milk Duds
Necco Wafers
Candy corn
Black licorice
Cadbury Cream Eggs

So yea, I shot a few sacred cows there. But that’s what debating is all about. No wait, debating is about evading direct questions. This is about bad candy.

Your turn.

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365-87: i’ll take you to the candy shop

i'll take you to the candy shop

Day 87 of 365: a year in songs and photos

Song: 50 Cent, Candy Shop

Well, he isn’t exactly singing about candy in that song. But you knew that.

I’m officially sick of winter. Historically, when I get sick of winter and it’s many shades of gray, I start shooting things like candy and crayons. We were in Walgreens tonight and the candy aisle just called to me. As I was picking out treats to shoot – keeping in mind what would get eaten and what wouldn’t – I ran through the plethora of songs I could use tonight. So many tunes with words like candy and sweet…..it would be too easy to use I Want Candy or U2’s Sweetest Thing.

There’s no reason for you to know why I picked this particular song (insert winking smiley face here).

Actually, we’re spending the rest of the night switching between watching the NHL skills contests and playing Halo.


I’ll take you to the candy shop
Boy one taste of what I got
I’ll have you spending all you got
Keep going ’til you hit the spot

I don’t think hockey and halo is what 50 Cent had in mind when he wrote that one.

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taste my mounds

It’s almost Halloween and my thoughts turn to candy. I don’t eat a whole lot of candy, but something about this time of year makes my cravings for chocolately goodness kick in. It’s too bad my kids don’t go trick or treating anymore. I used to steal the good stuff out of their bag. Leave them with the crap like pennies and MaryJanes and McDonald’s coupons. Hey, I’m just trying to save on dental bills!

So what do you look for in the bag? What’s your all time, absolute favorite candy? Mine:


Reeses Peanut Butter Cups

heaveninmymouth.gif

See, I’m not a huge chocolate fan. I like it, but not enough to eat a whole bar of just chocolate. I need to have it mixed with something. It’s like drinking. Rum is ok, but I wouldn’t drink it straight. It needs a mixer. It needs Coke. So I think of peanut butter as chocolate’s mixer.

Damn, I love me some peanut butter. I’ll eat it right out of the jar with a spoon. Sometimes I forego the spoon entirely and just stick my finger in the jar and grab a scoop of peanut butter. Lick it right off my finger. Yes, that’s me in the picture. Good stuff. Now take that peanut butter and wrap it in chocolate and you have a gift from god that should be holier than communion wafers. I believe it’s a gift from god for one reason. It cures PMS. The saltiness of the peanut butter plus the chocolate is better than 40 Midols and an orgasm sometimes. Just biting into one a Reesesm feeling the smoothness of the peanut butter on my tongue, the sweetness of the chocolate in my throat, the tantalizing taste of both of them swirling around my mouth to make the most pleasurable aural experience since my birthday.

On the flipside, there’s always that candy that you come across that makes you want to hold up a cross and a jar of holy water and scream for your priest to come perform an exorcism. Or maybe that’s just me. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure that coconut is born of the devil. It is Satan’s plaything.

worstcandyevar.gif

Mounds.

Evil sidekick to Almond Joy. Purveyor of all that is evil in the world of candy. Harborer of the dreaded coconut flakes. Now, I should tell you – I can eat a real coconut. Right out of the shell. That’s good stuff. But this flaked garbage? No bueno. I don’t know what happens to it between the shell and the cleaver, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with Satan taking a piss on it. Plus, who the hell names their candy Mounds? Because all I can think of is, well…..sex. And I don’t want to confuse sex with coconuts. Although once I wore a coconut bra during a bachelorette party. While singing Sister Christian. But still, that has nothing to do with coconut covered candy.

The anti-christ is coming and he’s chewing on your Mounds.

I probably posted this before, but I’m talking about candy, so why not. My guess the candy collage.

candycollage
click for bigger.

I’m going to go have some peanut butter cups for dinner.

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Candy-O

u dont have 2 be cool 2 rule my world

I don’t know why I bother to look at other people’s random lists. Well, I do know. I look at them so I can bitch about it and tell them that their list is incomplete without “xxx” on it.

I will never mock a person for their taste in music, food, movies, books, etc. Different strokes for different folks, ya know? I will, however, mock if their lists includes little asides by them that read as if the author thinks they are so much better than you because you listen to Pink and they listen to some band that only six people in Petaluma, California have heard.

And I might, perhaps, mock you if your list of favorite candy includes circus peanuts.

Ok. Taste is subjective and all that nonsense. But circus peanuts? Come ON. They taste and feel like Styrofoam soaked in Triaminic.

I bet you are dying to know my favorite and least favorite candy.

Favorite:

1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
2. Warheads
3. Payday
4. Lindt chocolate truffles
5. Those things that look like fruit slices dipped in sugar (but only the lemon and cherry)
6. Wax fangs
7. Anything with peanut butter


Least Favorite:

1. Circus Peanuts
2. Candy corn
3. Mounds (coconut is the devil’s work)
4. Black licorice (tastes like medicine)
5. Almond Joy
6. Sugar Daddy
7. Mary Janes
8. Necco Wafers (tastes like medicine)

I guess I have “tastes like medicine” issues.

Here’s a little “guess the nostalgic candy” collage I made a while ago. Clicky for supersize.

candycollage

Of course I am dying to know, what are your favorite/least favorite candies?

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