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Posts Tagged ‘bud selig’

seligspeak

Barry Bonds tied the home run record, the sun still rose this morning, life goes and Bud Selig remains a small notch above Gary Bettman as the leader in Stupid Sports Commissioner sweepstakes.

“As I said previously, out of respect for the tradition of the game, the magnitude of the record and the fact that all citizens in this country are innocent until proven guilty, either I or a representative of my office will attend the next few games and make every attempt to observe the breaking of the all-time home run record.”

File that under things NOT to say when the sport you are in charge of is making front page news. While Selig unwillingly follows Bonds around the country is his pursuit of asterisk history, some PR person needs to follow Selig around, making sure he coats his words with a little sugar. Or, to follow the advice of my mom, to make sure he doesn’t say anything at all.

Or maybe he could just be totally honest instead of trying to sound like a criminal lawyer trying to find something good to say about his client. Like, “I’m pissed off that this arrogant jackass is breaking this record and I have to drag my old ass around the country to pretend to be happy for him and baseball when it happens. You know what? Fuck Barry Bonds. Fuck him with a baseball bat dipped in steroids. I hope he rips a tendon before he can hit his next home run. Screw you guys. I’m going home.”

I’d have to show some respect for that.

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