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Posts Tagged ‘barry bonds’

seligspeak

Barry Bonds tied the home run record, the sun still rose this morning, life goes and Bud Selig remains a small notch above Gary Bettman as the leader in Stupid Sports Commissioner sweepstakes.

“As I said previously, out of respect for the tradition of the game, the magnitude of the record and the fact that all citizens in this country are innocent until proven guilty, either I or a representative of my office will attend the next few games and make every attempt to observe the breaking of the all-time home run record.”

File that under things NOT to say when the sport you are in charge of is making front page news. While Selig unwillingly follows Bonds around the country is his pursuit of asterisk history, some PR person needs to follow Selig around, making sure he coats his words with a little sugar. Or, to follow the advice of my mom, to make sure he doesn’t say anything at all.

Or maybe he could just be totally honest instead of trying to sound like a criminal lawyer trying to find something good to say about his client. Like, “I’m pissed off that this arrogant jackass is breaking this record and I have to drag my old ass around the country to pretend to be happy for him and baseball when it happens. You know what? Fuck Barry Bonds. Fuck him with a baseball bat dipped in steroids. I hope he rips a tendon before he can hit his next home run. Screw you guys. I’m going home.”

I’d have to show some respect for that.

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Move over Gary Bettman. Bud Selig gets the Stupid Sports Commissioner spot this week.

“I’ve been having a lot of people who are stunned that I’m still at this. But, it is what it is,” Selig said before the game. Selig, who said last night’s was the eighth game he has attended in Bonds’ chase, added that the travel “has been a tough experience, I don’t mind telling you.”

I’m sure it’s been real hard on you, Bud. A baseball commissioner, going to baseball games. Go figure. And you know, while I’m sure it gets rough trying to act like you are excited that one of the most arrogant, self centered jackasses in all of sports is going to break a sacred record held by one of the most honored, respected men to ever play the sport, you’ve got to blame yourself for some of this mess, Bud.

About Bonds. I’m in the large majority of people who despise the man. I never liked him. Ever. He’s on my short list of “famous people I have long harbored animosity toward” (a list that includes Roger Clemens and Yngwie Malmsteen).

I guess what is bothering most about Bonds inevitably breaking the record is that someone with his attitude just doesn’t deserve it. I know that is unreasonable. But I can’t help but wish that the record would have been broken by someone like Aaron. Someone with class. Someone who appreciates his fans and is respected and liked. And not, maybe, juiced up.

Yes, I’m one of those people who will always see an imaginary asterisk next to the name Barry Bonds. Maybe Selig is one of us, too. Maybe he sees that asterisk and that’s why he hates following Bonds around, why this has been so “rough” on him. Because he helped create this media monster and now he has to sit back and watch while it stomps all over the public image of Major League Baseball.

Are there any Bonds fans out there? Is there any stadium he can break this record in – besides his own- where he won’t be booed as he rounds the bases? Selig must cringe every time Bonds takes a swing, waiting for that moment when the ball sails over the wall and baseball takes a big, steaming shit on itself.

How many days til hockey season?

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