Archive for September, 2007

dear met fans,

I am truly sorry for your loss. I meant that sincerely. I know what it’s like to have such high hopes all season long then have those hopes crushed at the end. It’s frustrating and it’s sad. I mean….my dad cried a little when the game was over today. I know it’s just sports, but it’s still kind of heartbreaking.

There was a time when I would have gloated like crazy over this. I must be getting old.

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red for burma

red for burma

My nephew David, adopted at birth by my sister and brother in law, is of Burma/Myanmar descent. His birth parents went back there shortly after he was born. That she chose to give him up for adoption and not take him back there with her is certainly a bit of profound fortune for him.

I’m saving a bunch of articles for him. He’s already asking about where he’s from and what it’s like there. I think the way people are rising up will be a good thing for him to see. Something to be proud of.

But I can’t help but look at pictures of the kids in the midst of all that strife and think, he was saved from that kind of life. Instead of growing up in a land of oppression, living in fear, he’s playing video games and eating at McDonald’s. Who’s to say which life would be better for him in the long run? Who’s to say which life would teach him more? I just know which life would be safer, I suppose. And that I’m grateful he’s living the life that includes our family.

Like a friend said to me in email today: small blessings really aren’t that small, are they?

Burma protests photo blogging

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dear john,

I decided to kill Faster Than The World rather than bring it back from hiatus.

If you were a reader of that site, thank you. It was a lot of fun while it lasted. Time and priorities ain’t what they used to be, though.

I feel like I just broke up with someone.

I need a good break up song here…

…it’s not you, it’s me. We can still be friends, right?

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sweet rides and fast rides

Spent the day at a classic car show and a street fair.

best car ever - 72

There is something about a 72 (or ’70 or ’71) Chevelle SS that really gets my motor running, to make a weak pun. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: “You know how some guys feel when they see a picture of some big breasted chick with her legs in the air and a “take me” look on her face? You know how some women feel when they see a pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes on sale at Neiman Marcus? That’s how I feel when I see this car. No, I don’t want to fuck it, but I just might rub up against it in a sexual fashion, given the chance. Oh hell, if it had a dick, I’d fuck it.” I will own one some day. Mark my words.

save ferris

On the other hand, that is one ride you will never get me on. I’ll take pictures of things that go round in the sky, but I won’t board one.

Pictures from today here, if you are interested in fast cars or random pictures of carnival rides. I think I took a good batch of shots today.

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spookytown – the video

The daughter took this last night after we got everything lit up. The noise? Yes, it makes all that noise. Bear with the video, not the greatest quality all the way through but she did a good enough job with it that you can pretty much get the essence of the whole thing.

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more answers to stupid questions

See here and here.

Staz asks: Why does my cat get so angry when I dress her up in an incredibly tight and constricting Harry Potter costume? I mean, cats love Halloween right?

Answer: Listen. I’m not going to tell you why she’s angry, because I think you know. All I’m going to say is that when your cat climbs on top of you in the middle of the night and sucks the breath out of you – the way cats are known to do – we’re going to call it just desserts. Putting animals in clothing is an offense to god, the world, life and everything in it. One day our pets are going to rise up and rebel against us for all the atrocities you dog and cat clothing people have foisted upon their species. What’s the plural of species? And no offense, Faith. I love you and Boris is cute and all, but…..when the revolution comes, you will be first.

Turtle (aka Todd) asks: What’s for dinner?

Answer: Well, you asked that yesterday so it would be silly to answer “cheeseburgers” because you already ate, digested and crapped those out. To answer for today: whatever is available at the street fair. Which means a healthy dinner of sausage heroes, fried Oreos and candy apples.

Cullen asks: Is stupid really is as stupid does?

Also, is the love that you take really equal to the love that you make? What about entropy?

Answer: First question: No. Sometimes it is stupider. Second question: I used that Beatles quote as my senior quote in my high school yearbook. I wasn’t even a Beatles fan. But the song was on the radio when I was scrambling to get my quote in on time and it sounded like a pretty profound statement to me at the moment (yes, I was stoned), so there it was. When the yearbook came out, the stupid people I went to high school with, unable to see beyond the words “make” and “love,” thought the quote was a cryptic way of saying that I wanted to sex them up. So that pretty much answers the first question, again.

As for entropy, it depends on which form of entropy you mean. If you mean “A measure of the loss of information in a transmitted message,” then see the above paragraph.

Timmer asks: Why do you continue to obsess about zombies when vampires are clearly the superior undead creatures?

Vampires are never going to take over the world. It’s impossible. You can’t just fight at night, you have to fight during the day, too. Also, vampires tend to listen to too much Bauhaus or The Cure, whereas zombies tend to listen to death metal, which empowers them. Vampire sit around and cry about the futility of their lives and write poetry about blood and souls. Zombies eat brains and flesh and don’t waste their time on emotions and going to raves.

McGehee asks: Are the frozen toolbox sprockets really as good as the fresh fanblade-wax shavings?

This is a sexual question, isn’t it? Something about Mr. Spacely getting a Brazilian wax? You’re a sick puppy, McGehee.

Cullen, back for more, asks: Also, I MUST know who it was that put the bomp in the bomp sha bomp sha bomp, and who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?

I believe it was this guy.

That’s all for now. I will entertain more stupid questions, if you have them. Just don’t expect smart answers.

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one hit wonders

How many can you get? I got 30 out of 34. #29 is one of my favorite songs ever.

And I take exception to calling some of these “one hit wonders” but that’s just me.

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last house on the left

last house on the left

Today we bought the last piece of Spookytown. We just finished landscaping it and now, our Spookytown is done.

Tomorrow I’ll take a couple of pictures so you can get a feel of what the whole thing looks like finished. I don’t have a wide angle lens, so I’ll probably take a few pics and stitch them together. We’ll also be uploading a video of the town in action – all the lights and noises going. It’s pretty neat. Or rad, as Todd says.

When we put the video up, we’ll also be having a contest of sorts to go along with it. So stay tuned.

We’re kind of sad it’s done. Makes me start thinking about Christmas town……

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stupid answers

Because I don’t have internet access here, but I do receive comments by email and I can post by email, I’ll need to answer your stupid questions (see first post of today) in new posts. I’ll do a few at a time.
Solonor asks: Do these pants make me look fat?
Answer:  Yes. From the back, you might be mistaken for an elephant. And being that you live in Florida and I read an article today about some Florida police force purchasing elephant guns, you might want to rethink your wardrobe. From the front, you look like one of those people with a front butt. You know, like you have an ass where your stomach should be. I understand it’s the pants, and you’re not really that fat. Which just goes to show you that 45 year old men should not be trying to replicate the teenage baggy pants trend. And stop wearing SpongeBob boxers.
Turtle asks: Are you ever going to heed those subliminal messages I have been giving you?
Answer: Most men, when giving subliminal messages to their sleeping partner, would attempt things like “you will always give me control of the remote” or “every day will end with a blow job.” But no. You whisper to me about Sylvester Stallone and Little House on the Prairie. So now I’m walking around work saying “Who do you think would win in a fight, Rocky Balboa or Charles Ingalls?”  Actually, that’s a pretty stupid question in and of itself. I think you all need to answer that for ME.
Bill the Cat asks: Why can’t I stop freebasing Little Friskies!?!?! Ack! Ack!
Answer: I really wish I could link to an appropriate Bloom County strip here, but I can’t. Instead I’ll just tell you to switch to meth because the Friskies are making you smell like Britney Spears’s vagina.
Mel asks: 1-Why can’t I lose weight when all I eat are M&M’s (plain or dark chocolate, TYVM) and ice cream (even though it’s 1/2 fat)?

2-Why won’t Brett Favre ditch his wife and call me (you can substitute Petyon calling me for part B of stupid question #2)?
Answers: 1. You’re doing it wrong. If you’re going to go on a candy and ice cream diet,  you need to supplement it with a freebasing habit. I mean, look at how thin Bill the Cat is. Sure, he’s about one high away from a murder spree, but his ass is TIGHT. And he doesn’t look fat in those pants.
2. You know, I could make several football related sexual innuendos here. Something about going long or being a wide receiver….but I won’t.
Deacon asks: Do monkeys ever get Hepatitis from flinging their own poo?
Answer: No, they get their hepatitis from the dirty needles at the monkey tattoo parlor. Monkey poo actually has healing powers. Little known fact. See, these are the questions Lileks wouldn’t answer. That’s what separates me from him. Class.
David asks:  Is this the stupidest question that you have received today?
Answer. No. The stupidest question belongs to a co worker. We were discussing the events in Myanmar when I mentioned that my nephew’s country of origin (I explained that he was adopted at birth) is Myanmar. The co worker – an adult – said “Oh. Does he have a weird accent then?”  That will not be beat. There is no question any of you can come  up with that would be stupider. Yes, that is a challenge.
If you want to ask more stupid questions, please do so on the original post. 

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your questions of the day!

Well, I’m running a bit late today. So, something stupid. Literally.

Today, according to Lileks, is Ask A Stupid Question Day.

Go ahead. Ask. I’ll do my best to answer them all.

(I’m not really stealing his idea, I’m sharing it. I mean, he’s got seven million readers. I have 20. He’ll live).

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