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Archive for August, 2007

134. Scorpions – Rock You Like A Hurricane
Some of you may listen to Winds of Change and get all weepy about the fall of the Berlin wall. Some of you may listen to Still Loving You and get all weepy about the one that got away. Me, I am moved by Rock You Like A Hurricane. It is MY song.

Some day, when I finally get my professional wrestling gig, I will come out into the arena to this song. I will get into the center of the ring and say the words, for the past 20 years, have been my motto throughout my daily life, whether it be at work, at home or in bed:

Here I am. Rock you like a hurricane.

135. Fang – Berkeley Heathen Scum
Like I’ve said before, I hope you all find some new music to listen to through this adventure of mine. This is a band I’m sure most of you don’t know – a Northern California 80’s punk band that made some decent music (that was covered by both Metallica and Nirvana). Sammytown‘s voice is a bit hard to get used to; think Cookie Monster on ludes. But I kind of like it. It’s got a “I really don’t give a fuck” attitude about it. He sometimes sings like he’s going through the motions, just growling out some random lyrics and, while that doesn’t sound very appealing, it works here. It’s like slowed down punk rock, maybe what would happen if the Dead Kennedys took too much acid. Or if Jefferson Airplane smoked some crack. Psychedelic, trippy punk rock. How can you go wrong? Well, besides the whole murder rap thing.

136. Allman Brothers – Whipping Post
I could have listed just about any song here and I would have been satisfied that I made the right choice. Memories. All good ones. Cruising on a road trip to nowhere in my first car. Beach parties and bonfires. Huge picnics in the park, trying to move the kegs from field to field before the cops tracked us down. Seeing the band live about 15 times.

This song, so many years later, still gives me that same rush, that same desire to stand up on a stage and belt this out, that same surge of adrenaline when the music goes down and he picks up again with Sometimes I feel……..the one that comes from the bottom of his soul and works its way up and comes out sounding like a powerful right hook would.

If you have ever seen the Allman Brothers play then you know what a damn near religious experience this song can be live.

137. New Bomb Turks – I Want My Baby Dead?!
You’re in an oil stained garage that’s been cleared out to make just enough room for your friend’s band and there’s a dozen people crowded in there stinking like sweat and shitty beer and the feedback is bouncing off the walls and the shirtless guys are bouncing off each other and when you step outside for a smoke you can still feel the concrete shake. That’s this song.

138. Elvis Presley – Viva Las Vegas
I grew up on a steady diet of Elvis. In the homes of my friends, they worshiped Jesus or Mary or Moses. In my home, there was Elvis worship. I knew all the songs. I was forced to watch all the movies. Elvis in Hawaii. Clambake. Some movie where Mary Tyler Moore is a nun and Elvis seduces her. I think. I think he has to battle Jesus for Mary’s heart or something. I figured out a very young age that all the movies were the same. Elvis meets girls. Elvis sings to girls. Elvis makes out with someone. What happens in between all that doesn’t matter. It’s like watching the old Star Trek shows. You just wait for the moment when Kirk bangs an alien chick. Then the episode is complete. When Elvis sings at some swooning girl, the movie has reached it’s climax. The rest is just filler. Elvis. Kirk. Same thing. All you needed was an episode of Star Trek where Kirk swiveled his hips and crooned something like “hunka hunka burnin love” to some chick with blue skin and three arms, and you’d have Elvis in space.

I’ve grown to fully appreciate Elvis. Maybe it’s something that comes with entering old age. Maybe it’s because of the Velvet Elvis hanging in our computer room. Maybe it’s because Elvis built the pyramids.

Anyhow. I chose this song for a reason. Because it is quintessential Elvis.

FAQ here
list of upcoming bands/artists here.
List of songs completed so far here
Link to all 300 bands, 300 songs posts

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you and your ringtone

[I am writing this via email, so I have no idea how it will look or if the formatting will come through. We’ll call this blind blogging. I will have no idea if it worked til I get home]

Listen, I don’t mind if you have a fancy ringtone. I really don’t. Just because my phone is on vibrate/silent all the time, doesn’t mean you have to be as considerate as I, especially in the workplace. Thing is, I just might have a ringtone. But perhaps I don’t think everyone in the building needs to know about my Super Mario Brothers fixation, like you think everyone needs to know that you love that damn umbrella song. Maybe, just maybe, you can show some consideration and take the phone with you when you make your 50th bathroom run of the morning. Hey, I’m not knocking you there. I have a weak bladder as well. But unlike you, I do not leave my cell phone on my desk when I have to pee. You do. Ringer on, volume turned all the way up, knowing damn well that one of the kids is going call (because they seem to call every three minutes) and once again we will all be subjected to umbrella…ella….ella…ella….ella…ella…

This goes for you too, Mr. Take Me Out To The Ball Game. And you, with the Family Guy clip that plays every time your boyfriend calls. And you, with the Star Wars sound effects. Hey, I’m a big Star Wars geek myself, but listening to R2D2 beeps all day long makes me want to burn my action figures. I’m not saying give up your ringtones. Just please, either turn them off when you are at work or stop leaving your phone on your desk when you leave the office. It’s like we are being held hostage by your ringtone every time someone calls. We all now live in fear of your phone. When you get up and walk out the door, we cower and shake as the phone sits there on your desk like a ticking time bomb and, as sure as shit is brown, not two seconds after you leave the bomb goes off and it rains down a chorus of ella…..ella…..ella… on us.

Don’t be surprised when I sue you for post traumatic stress disorder.

Or when I furtively change your ringtone to Slayer’s Angel of Death.

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Discoveries

Discovery 1: Sticking to just the 300 songs thing is boring for both you and I, so regular blogging will resume alongside the songs thing.

Discovery 2: Most of you like the multiple song entries as opposed to the single song entries, so I’ll go back to that – and most likely do that once a day, in my evening post. Ten songs or so at a time.

Discovery 3: This guy rules. I hope he puts as much thought and effort into his marriage as he did into his proposal. Either way, this is a kick ass way to ask someone to marry you. It made me smile.

Discovery 4: When I was very young, the only thing more exciting than the New Fall Season! issue of TV Guide was the arrival of the Sears and Penney’s Christmas catalogs. Someone has scanned entire Sears and Penneys catalogs from my youth and put them online.

What’s interesting is how all the girl’s toys involved cooking, child raising, grooming and….being a cashier in a grocery store.

Which leads to

Discovery 5: Flava Flav owes a debt of gratitude to the Sears catalog of 1971.

Discovery 6: Some people should have their parenting licenses taken away. Not really a new discovery, but people find a new way to piss me off every day. Or at least make me shake my head in amazement. To wit: Parents begin potty training at birth. Not just potty training. But doing a whole diaper-free thing. So when they have to go, they go. This woman is talking about her precious little bare-assed snowflake:

“Sometimes I don’t know what’s gonna happen and it doesn’t work, and sometimes I feel a little embarrassed,” Arnesen said. “It makes her happy though, right? She smiles, she’s happy.”

I want to smother that woman with a diaper. THIS, my friends, is how we raise self-centered, spoiled children who grow up to be self-centered, spoiled adults who think they deserve to be happy just on the basis of existing and who will now think that the world is their toilet bowl. (link via lenin’s tomb)

And last but not least:

Discovery 7: My son knows how to play a pretty good prank. I found this on my computer screen when I got home from work Friday.

Click for bigger. Let me tell you, it gave me a near heart attack. I was cursing up a storm and wishing death on the Islander’s management and I even called my sister and made her start screaming as well. I don’t know how he did it (some kind of script), but he got me good. And now I need to figure out how to get him back.

That’s all the discovery I can handle for one morning.

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300 bands, 300 songs – 133

133. Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine – Me So Horny
What do we have here? Ah, Me So Horny. No, not 2 Live Crew. Too early in the morning for that. Instead, we have the soothing, mellow tones of Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine. For the uninitiated, Richard and his band do cover versions of hard rock, metal, rap and punk songs (plus some other stuff), lounge singer style. It’s part hilarity, part irony and mostly really cool. I mean, just imagine it. Sitting in a small motel bar. Downing a gin and tonic while killing time in some godforsaken town you are passing through. Tonight’s entertainment is some singer you never heard of but who reminds you of that Bill Murray character on “Saturday Night Live.” Suit and tie, drink in hand, kissing the microphone while making small town talk with you. Piano kicks in and you figure you are in for some poorly constructed Neil Diamond singalong. You wonder if you remember the words to “Cherry Cherry.” And then he starts singing:

Sittin at home with my dick on hard/So I got the black book for a freak to call.”

What did he just say? Is that….2 Live Crew? Is he singing Me So Horny?

Im a freak in heat, a dog without warning My appetite is sex, cause me so horny.”

Wow. Yea. He is. So you kind of groove along to it, thinking how romantic and endearing this tune sounds when interpreted by Mr. Cheese and his band.. You find yourself nodding your head and singing along and you don’t even realize what you’re saying when you get to “Put your lips on my dick, and suck my asshole too.” You just sing. Because Richard Cheese can make even the most vulgar songs sound sweet.

Listen here.

Other songs considered: Holiday in Cambodia, Gin and Juice, Down With the Sickness

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300 bands, 300 songs – 132

132. Brand New -Play Crack The Sky
Another Long Island band on my list. Just pointing that out. Just so we are clear that Long Island is not all John Gotti Jr. wannabes and thick accented, high hair mall-tweakers. The more you know.

Anyhow, I really dig this band. Their first album (Your Favorite Weapon) – is a peppy compilation of pop-ish tunes with strong lyrics that belie the music. The second album (Deja Entendu) is a more mature, deeper, musical and lyrical work of art. I still don’t care much for the third album, but it’s growing on me.

Play Crack The Sky is from the second album. It’s a haunting, melodic, five minute metaphor about love’s crashing waves.

But the wrong words will strand you.

Come off course while you sleep.
Sweep your boat out to sea or dashed to bits on the reef.
The vessel groans the ocean pressures its frame.
To the port I see the lighthouse through the sleet and rain.
And I wish for one more day to give my love and repay debts.
But the morning finds our bodies washed up thirty miles west.

Musically, it’s all sparse acoustic guitar, which works well with this subdued melody. The singing here is what makes the song so spectacular. The harmony throughout, and then the dual singing at the end, layered perfectly. Very few songs reduce me to tears. This does.

This story’s old but it goes on and on until we disappear.
Calm me and let me taste the salt you breathed while you were underneath.
I am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea.
I spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean.
I know that this is what you want.
A funeral keeps both of us apart.
You know that you are not alone.
Need you like water in my lungs.
This is the end.

Listen to it. I insist. Play Crack The Sky – mp3

Other songs considered: Me v. Maradona v. Elvis, Soco Amaretto Lime

FAQ here
list of upcoming bands/artists here.
List of songs completed so far here
Link to all 300 bands, 300 songs posts

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300 bands, 300 songs – 131

131. Stone Temple Pilots – Dead and Bloated
What’s happened with a lot of the bands I’ve written about is that I think, eh not my favorite, but I’ll find something. Then I go through their catalog and realize how much of their music I do like. So much so with STP, that I had a hard time coming up with a favorite song.

I chose this one because I saw the band play some time back in the mid 90’s. The first half of their show was an acoustic set – the band was lowered down onto the stage on a platform set up like a living room – and when they did a stripped down version of this song, it just blew me away. In fact, the whole acoustic set was pretty amazing.

I heard Scott Weiland on the radio the other day, playing DJ at the KRock studios with some members of Velvet Revolver. He played Jealous Again by Black Flag and Wave of Mutilation by the Pixies and it sure was nice to hear those songs on the radio. So props to Mr. Weiland.

I need to go in the garage and find my STP cds.

Other songs considered: Big Bang Baby, Wicked Garden, Trippin’ on a Hole in a Paper Heart

FAQ here
list of upcoming bands/artists here.
List of songs completed so far here
Link to all 300 bands, 300 songs posts

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into the groove and a question of the day

At least, getting back into it.

After spending the morning sorting through more pictures and syncing Q-bert (my iPod), I don’t have enough time to get back into the songs. My brain is still in vacation mode, anyhow. I’ll get back on track with that later this afternoon. I updated the list of potential upcoming bands here, and you can add to it if you like by leaving your suggestions in the comments here. Here’s what’s been done so far.

Meanwhile, you can be regaled by vacation photos here. Aww, come on. Someone look at my pictures!

And you can get me back into the whole music thing by answering the Question of the Day:

If you could listen to only one song today, all day, what would it be and why? (this doesn’t necessarily mean your favorite song ever, just what you are into specifically right now).

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rocket launcher

Our weekend getaway has come and gone. We had a fantastic time. The hotel was beautiful, the scenery was amazing and the company was awesome. I just uploaded a ton of pictures to flickr, if you’re interested. The set is here, and there’s all kinds of descriptions and whatnot of what we did. Well, most of what we did. The rest is none of your business.

The weekend did include explosives and firearms. What kind of romantic weekend would it be if it didn’t?

Best birthday EVER. Thank you, Todd. For everything.

I’ll be back with the 300 songs thing tomorrow morning.

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I am being whisked away by Todd to an undisclosed location for my birthday weekend.

I’ll be back to continue to the list Monday. Have a great weekend and feel free to leave songs, suggestions, whatever while I’m gone!

FAQ here
list of upcoming bands/artists here.
List of songs completed so far here
Link to all 300 bands, 300 songs posts

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rock on!

My daughter has been conspiring with Todd and various family members about something for the past three weeks. I found out tonight what that was.

Happy birthday to me! I have an iPod again! They all chipped in and got me this sleek, red nano, an iTunes gift card, and an iTrip – which will come in handy for our road trip this weekend.

What a great way to start my birthday weekend. My family rocks.

Update: I have named him Q-bert.

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