a song for the deaf

(reposted from my flickr page)

Day 262 of 365: a year in songs and photos
#18 in the Queens of the Stone Age Discography Thing
Song: QOTSA, Song For The Deaf

Subtitled: tuesday morning, contemplating

When I take these morning photos, I’m usually doing my own version of meditating. I relax, breathe, focus on the photo and rid my mind of everything else. I clear my head so I can better face the day.

I got lost in train of thought while I sat there in the wet grass at 5:30 am, staring at some weeds lined up against the back wall of the house.

I spend a lot of time telling myself to let things go, to be the better person and not make confrontations when those confrontations will only lead to more. I’ve always been known as the peacemaker, the one who will put aside her own feelings and needs if it just means making everyone happy and avoiding a battle. That’s not always a good thing. Sometimes one needs to speak up instead of bowing down.

I have also spent a good deal of my thinking time the past two years or so telling myself that I would not let anyone treat me or speak to me in a manner that I do not deserve. One of my mantras of those years has been "you get what you tolerate," and I decided at some point to no longer tolerate being spoken to or treated in a way that is demeaning, demoralizing or condescending.

This morning I had to try to reconcile those two thoughts. I feel the need for confrontation. I have allowed myself to tolerate these behaviors for a few months now in order to be the better person and not make waves where too many waves already exist. So what do I do? Do I confront or do I sit back and hope that this change taking place today will alleviate some of the problem?

I actually struggled with this all night. I composed in my head what I would say to her; I was careful to speak from the "I" and to not sound mean or accusatory. I worded it in such a way that I wasn’t being harsh about it, I was merely explaining why I have been harboring animosity and how the simple act yesterday of slapping me down when it was completely unecessary and, in fact, the opposite was called for, made me sad instead of the usual anger this person’s antics make me feel.

So I’m sitting there this morning and 5:30 turns to almost six and I’m still staring at these weeds wondering how to frame them and it dawns on me.

A song for the deaf.

Even if I did confront, what would be the use of explaining my feelings and emotions to a person who would not even hear it? A person who has never heard a word I said and instead talks over me, and everyone else? What’s the point?

Well, the point is, I said I wouldn’t tolerate it anymore. So do I confront just for me, just to get it out of my system, knowing it’s going to fall on deaf ears, or do I just go about my day and my life, and hope that the change in environment today will help dissipate my lingering bad feelings?

Song for the Deaf: youtube.com/watch?v=Ipe-PH6CBa0

I just realized I used this song in the QOTSA series already. Oh well, there are probably a few songs I’ll do more than once. That’s what’s nice about having a project that is all your own. You make the rules.

And I can just say what I said about it before:

This song is brutal both lyrically and musically and I use that word in the best way possible. The vocals are done by both Mark Lanegan and Josh Homme, and at some point Nick Oliveri is in there, too.

Nobody’s coming down the hall
Nobody echoes in my head
Broken reflection outta luck
Nobody ever needed it

I got what was
I want to take what’s left
Ready now

Beautiful senses are gone
Canary in a gilded cage
Singin

Sweet, soft, and low
I will poison you all
Come closer, racing to your tongue

I got what was
I want to take what’s left
No talk will cure
What’s lost, or save what’s left
For the deaf

The blind can go get fucked
Lie beside the ditch
This halo round my neck
Has torn out every stictch

Who are you hiding
Is it safe for the deaf
Beautiful cancer
Infiltrate and forget
I saw you coming
I heard not a thing
A mistake not to listen
When I knew where you’d been

And I got what was
I want to take what’s left
No talk will cure
What’s lost, or save what’s left
For the deaf

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because i must be on crack

I started yet another new photography project, in addition to the 365 songs and photos project: The Queens of the Stone Age discography in photographs (for lack of a more creative name).

It is my goal (though I have set no time limit) to represent every QOTSA song in a photograph.

When the voices in my head speak to me about new projects at 3am, I should really ignore them.

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365-69: higher than a jet plane with you

Day 69 of 365: a year in songs and photos

Song: Queens of the Stone Age, Auto Pilot

Yea, I’m back on another QOTSA binge.

The contrast on this was turned up a bit, but the sky was definitely brilliant in the backyard tonight. I have to fight for clear shots thanks to a plethora of power lines that run through the yards here. The pink poof on the right (you need to click to see the uncropped-by-blogger version) is a contrail left from a previous plane. Or, in the words of a co-worker "poison gas being spread by our government to make us all complacent." Well, it sure is pretty poison.

I like the way this came out. Looks almost fantastical. Like the plane is about to dive into some mystical, pink land of wonder.

I think I’ll finish here, as my mind just went to a really gutter-like place.

Well, this is day 69.

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365-68: ah baby, you’re so sweet

Day 68 of 365: a year in songs and photos

Song: Queens of the Stone Age, Quick and to the Pointless

The song title itself is apropos, as this was a quickie and pretty pointless. I have a little google group I belong to with some photography junkie friends and we are supposed to do "texture" as a them this week. I wanted to do some food texture but things all went to hell when I almost burned dinner and I got distracted.

However, I liked this shot of some candied sugar and non pareils. The coloring was an accident; I clicked the wrong thing. But I found something about it sort of soothing and sweet, so here it is. Quick, pointless and baby, so sweet.

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365-57: sick, sick, sick

Day 57 of 365: a year in songs and photos (yesterday’s photo today)

Song: Queens of the Stone Age, Sick Sick Sick

A nasty stomach virus that came around Christmas day is making the rounds and my family has gone down like dominoes.

It hit Todd yesterday morning. I left him moaning and went to work, sure that I was getting away with it. About 2:00, I stood up, announced I was leaving and cursed myself for being so smug.

It was a long night. And I have to go to work today.

I had better ideas for this photo, I’m not happy with the execution. But, given the circumstances, I’m just happy I got a photo done for the day.

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That’s Entertainment, 2007: Part I

This might be a 100 parter. Or, per usual, I’ll get bored after Part 10 and call it quits.

Music I Enjoyed in 2007, Part I (that may or may not have come out in 2007)

1. Queens of the Stone Age, Era Vulgaris
There’s always trepidation when your favorite band puts out a new album. All the anticipation you’ve built up makes you almost not want to listen to the album when you finally get it in your hands. Or maybe that’s just me. I just hate being disappointed by bands I love. So when I sat down to listen to Era Vulgaris for the first time, I remembered how I felt upon first hearing the previous album, Lullabies to Paralyze. I hated it. It was missing the decadence of Nick Oliveri. But, I grew to love it eventually. I guess it’s like having an ugly baby. At first you’re horrified, then you learn to find the beauty within it.

At first I was ambivalent about Era. I didn’t know if I liked it, hated it, loved it. I put it away after the first listen and let it soak in. Then I put it in the car and listened to it over and over again while we drove around Long Island one weekend on a photo taking/authentic Mexican food finding spree. There were songs that I kept repeating: Suture up Your Future, 3′s & 7′s, Into the Hollow. And I loved the rendition of Make it Wit Chu, a song previously heard on Desert Sessions. More importantly, there were no songs I skipped.

Each QOTSA album is completely different from the others. I know that sounds like a “no shit” statement, but with a lot of bands, you get the same sound, different lyrics on their albums. With QOTSA, each new effort is like discovering a new genre within one band, or a new band within that band (which sort of holds true as the lineup for this band changes so often, and there are so many guests artists on each album).

Era Vulgaris is deeper musically than any of the previous titles. While lyrically it’s not as tight as some of the earlier work, there’s a lot of introspection here and enough thoughtfulness to keep the words as interesting as the music. The music itself is full, broad and encompasses so many different styles that it’s hard to get sick of this album; even after a hundred repeated plays over a two day period, I was still hearing things in songs I didn’t hear previously.

It’s not my favorite album of theirs, but it is a great album, and my favorite purchase and listen of the year.

2. Brand New - The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me
While this album came out in late 2006, it wasn’t until late 2007 that I really got into it. I had so much loved their previous album, Deja Entendu, that, to be fair, I never gave Devil and God the chance it deserved because I just assumed that nothing was going to hold up to the brilliance of that.

People tend to lump Brand New into the “pop emo” category with bands like Taking Back Sunday and maybe if you only listened to their first album (Your Favorite Weapon), I could see where one would get that idea. But Deja Entendu and Devil and God are so much more than pop music. They are full of deep, meaningful songs and beautiful music and the band exhibits much more emotion and maturity than their contemporaries.

It took me months to finally give Devil and God the listen it deserved. When I finally gave the album my full attention, I was pretty much blown away by what I had been missing the whole time. This album is dark and morose, but not in a “woe is me, my life is a black hole” kind of way; it’s the themes visited here, the allegories and the context that give this album the maturity and depth I find missing from so many bands today.

From the Rudyard Kiping references on Sowing Season, to the biblical connotations of Millstone, Devil and God is filled with lyrics that make you think, make you feel and make you want to know more about the world around the songs. Limousine is a heartbreaking tale about drunk driving, inspired by a limo wreck on Long Island where a 7 year old girl died on the way home from a wedding*. This album plays like a disjointed novel, like reading someone’s deepest thoughts but not being able to reach the core of those thoughts. This is a good thing. The songs leave you thinking, wondering and asking yourself a lot of questions.

Devil and God is not an album to party to, it’s not a record to throw on when you’re looking to perk your day up. It’s one that pulls you into its world and holds you there, sometimes against your will. If you think of music as food for thought, Devil and God is a veritable buffet.

*(At first I didn’t realize that was what the song was about. When I put it together, I did a little research and found an interview in which songwriter Jesse Lacey talks about the drunk driver and the little girl. I remember when this happened and the judge I was working for at the time was working arraignments the day the drunk driver was brought in. We talked a bit about the case and the details of the accident [which were soon made public] and I spent the day at my desk with nothing in my head but the image of a mother sitting on the side of a highway, cradling her seven year old daughter’s head. Just her head. I can’t listen to this song anymore. It makes me sick. Drunk driving makes me sick.)

Anyhow. That’s part one of Entertainment I Enjoyed in 2007. I wasn’t going to end it here, but I ran out of time. Hopefully the next installment will end on a lighter note.

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365 – 37 : The Lost Art of Keeping A Secret

Day 37 of 365: a year in songs and photos

Song: Queens of the Stone Age, The Lost Art of Keeping A Secret

Gone are the days when I would hide presents under my bed or in my closet, to keep them from prying eyes. Gone are the days when my kids anticipated Christmas so much because of the surprises that awaited them under the tree. I don’t even make the pretense to try and surprise them anymore. They are teenagers. They are very specific in their wants and needs.

So the packages pile up in the living room and everyone knows who the package from Zippo is for and who the bag from American Eagle is for and who is getting whatever is in the Game Stop box.

It’s still fun to watch them open the gifts. I think it will be, no matter how old they get.

Todd and I exchanged most of our gifts already. We’re bad like that. Neither of us has mastered the art of keeping a secret.

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8 musical questions

Here’s a fun little thing to try. It’s one of those musical question things that all the kids seem to like so much. Well, I don’t know about this one. Let’s give it a try. Because it’s late and I don’t have anything else ready to write today. Musical memes are the lazy man’s blogging material.

8 Simple Questions

What you do is pick a band. Any band. Could be your favorite band or just random artist. Then you answer the eight questions using just song titles from that band.

Here are the 8 questions:

Who are you?
Where would you rather be?
How do others feel about you?
How do you feel about yourself?
What do you want to do with your life?
Describe your current mood.
Describe your friends.
Share a few words of wisdom.

I’ll go first. Of course, I’ll use Queens of the Stone Age.

Who are you? a Regular John
Where would you rather be? River In The Road
How do others feel about you? Everybody Knows That You’re Insane
How do you feel about yourself? You Think I Ain’t Worth A Dollar, But I Feel Like a Millionaire
What do you want to do with your life? Hispanic Impressions
Describe your current mood. Auto Pilot
Describe your friends. Sick, Sick, Sick
Share a few words of wisdom. God Is In The Radio

Sometimes, you just have to squeeze something in to make it fit. It doesn’t have to be true. Besides, I do a mean Hispanic impression.

If you want to add any questions, feel free.

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art every day – 11/9/107

Day 9 of art every day: “It’s all I got when you’re in my head”

I felt completely uninspired today and was about to give up all hope when this song came on.

I keep on playin our favorite song
I turn it up while you’re gone
It’s all i got when you’re in my head and you’re in my head so i need it

Queens of the Stone Age – In My Head

I grabbed the headphones, took a couple of shots, fooled around with one and got this. It was the best I could do today, but I am determined to do this every single day.

This is a great song, by the way. It reminds me of the pure pop love songs that used to play on the AM stations back in the 70′s. It’s got the melody, the hook, the harmonies…it makes me feel good all over. I like to put on the headphones and get into my own little groove with this one. It’s also a great driving song, one of those 70 degrees, windows down, hair blowing in the wind singalongs.

Here, listen to it.

Happy Friday.

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art every day – 11/1/107

For the interested, I’ve started a flickr group for this project. There are 18 members already! For previous reference, see here.

Day 1 – Queens of the Stone Age – I Think I Lost My Headache

click to view entire photo.

I decided to start the project off with my own musical suggestions for a number of reasons. The main reason being that today was a hell of a day. Headache, stress, stomach ache, stress, work, work…it felt like no matter how hard or fast I worked, I couldn’t get my desk clean. Every time I turned around there were more things added to the clutter. The office seemed too noisy today, everyone annoyed me…just one of those days. I knew it was going to be that kind of day when I woke up with headache and with the feeling like the world was going to implode on me any second. I fought the feeling most of the day, got motivated enough to dig into my work and then just waited for the hours to crawl by and for the day to end.

When I got in my car after work, I just sat there for a few minutes, breathing deeply. Or, more like sighing deeply. The ache behind my eye had traveled and multiplied. My brain, my sinuses, my eyes, my teeth, everything was pulsating in time to the blaring of someone’s car alarm. I did some more deep breathing, chewed a handful of fruity Tums, grimaced and started driving home.

I came home, swallowed a couple of much needed pills, made a pot of coffee and waited.

At last. I Think I Lost My Headache. And gained some inspiration.

And that’s day one.

Over at Creative Every Day, you can find a list of people participating in Art Every Day.

Bonus – QOTSA doing the tune live

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