Lots of emails and twitter messages: Are people on Long Island insane?
No, not all of us. And I don’t want to say that what happened at WalMart today is not indicative of Long Island but…..
I don’t go shopping on Black Friday. I don’t like shopping as it is, and I avoid the mall at all costs any time of the year. However, there was one year I decided to brave the Shop til You Drop crowd. It was about seven years ago. WalMart had a bicycle on sale and all my son wanted for Christmas was a bicycle. I didn’t have a lot of money at the time and the chance to actually get my kid something he wanted for a reasonable amount of cash was too good to pass up. So I went to WalMart the day after Thanksgiving. At 5am.
By the time I got there, the line was snaked around the store. The doors wouldn’t open until six. I thought about going home, but then I thought about the bike and my then-adorable child and decided that I – someone who had an abject fear of crowds and hated stores – would make the ultimate sacrifice and stand outside freezing for an hour, then enter the store with this horde of hyped up people just to see my son smile. Also, it would make for great martyrdom later on.
Six o’clock came and the doors opened. The line that was just perfectly formed in front of me dissipated into thin air as everyone rushed for the door at once. Visions of Who concerts danced in my head as I lagged behind the surging crowd. It was like Elvis just appeared in front of Graceland. Pushing, shoving, screaming. I waited until the last of the screamers got into the store and walked in behind them, heading straight for the bike aisle. Within two seconds, I was knocked flat on my ass by an old lady wielding her cane like a sword. Elbows were flying, people were literally running through the store to get to the aisles with the biggest sales, and they were pushing out of the way anyone that stood between them and that 50 dollar tv.
The store had been open all of thirty seconds and already the floor was covered with merchandise that people knocked off the shelves. There were kids crying, mothers screaming at each other in the toy aisle, workers yelling for people to calm down and in the middle of all this I just stood there, frozen in fear. I could feel a panic attack setting and I had no idea which way the bicycles were. It was chaos all around me. I willed myself to walk into the thick of things, keeping my son’s “I got a bike!” smile in mind. I finally found the right aisle and walked toward the boys’ bikes.
She came out of nowhere. She was about 400 lbs of solid fat stuffed into a fur coat and she was waving her hands in the air and screaming something. I froze again and she barreled toward me and as she got closer I could make out part of what she was saying “….AWAY FROM THAT BIKE, THAT IS MINE, YOU HEAR?” Her hands reached out for me. I was sure she was going to shove me right down to the floor and I managed to stumble backwards a few steps, but I backed up right into another woman who began yelling obscenities at me. All the while the fat fur lady was coming full force toward me. I sidestepped at the last minute and the fur lady did an inadvertent chest thump with the cursing woman and my fight or flight instincts kicked in. Hell no, I wasn’t going to fight. I was running. Fast. The hell with the bicycle. The kid would probably ride it for five days and get bored with it, anyhow. I was getting the hell out of there.
It took me ten minutes to navigate my way out of the store. I had to step over thousands of dollars of merchandise and run around at least three abandoned kids and one overturned shopping cart and what seemed like a thousand strong army of desperate housewives looking for the ultimate bargain.
I got to my car and just sat there, shaking and smoking, until I was sufficiently calm enough to drive to work. I never went out on Black Friday again.
And that is why the story of what happened at WalMart today does not seem inconceivable to me. I’ve seen the way people behave and, unfortunately, it seems to be a way of life here on Long Island. This is a place where everyone is always in a rush, where people drive as if they are the only ones on the road, where everyone acts as if they are owed something, where people have no problem taking up two spots with their Escalades or parking in handicapped spots. The longer I live here (46 years now) the more tired I grow of the self-centered, me-first, demanding attitude I see every day. This is why I have spent the past year talking about moving to California.
Maybe it’s like this everywhere. I’ve never lived anywhere else, so I don’t know. I just know what Long Island is like. I used to defend this place when people would make fun of it, but no more. The bad attitude here has become more prevalent in recent years. Nobody gives a shit about anyone else. I feel like I take my life in my hands every time I get in my car because nobody is paying attention to the people around them. They’re on their phones, they’re yelling at their kids (who are rarely buckled in), they’re sailing through stop signs. And it’s not just the driving. The attitude encompasses every part of the daily routine. I deal with it at work, I deal with it in stores. The rudeness, the sense of entitlement and the “gimme and gimme now” attitude is everywhere. It certainly doesn’t surprise me to see people stampeding over one another to save a few dollars on a television when just this morning I saw a woman who just got out of a new Mercedes stomp into Walgreens and demand the cashier get fired for shorting her A FREAKING PENNY in her change.
Like I said, I don’t know if it’s just here or if it’s everywhere, but what the hell has happened to our society?
2,000 people were waiting to get into that WalMart at 5am. They literally ripped the doors down because they didn’t want to wait for the store to open. They knocked the 34 year old WalMart greeter down, then stomped over his body and continued shopping as workers asked them to exit the store.
Everyone who helped rip that door open, everyone who stepped on that poor man and everyone who didn’t give a shit and kept looking for their god damn bargains as the emergency crews worked to save the guy’s life…you are all pigs. You’re less than human.
Happy holidays.
[Update: He wasn't a greeter, he was a temporary worker sent to that WalMart today by his temp agency. Not that it matters, just like to have my facts straight as the news is updated]
Wow. I just had my own personal bubble of rage build up reading that. I just. Can. Not. Imagine.
I’ve always sort of shaken my head ruefully when hearing about the madness on Black Friday before, but now I gotta say that it is officially a BAD THING.
Of course, I’m Canadian. What do I know?
That’s fucking sick.
I don’t know if people are like that everywhere, but it sure wouldn’t surprise me in Northern Virginia, where I live now. In the past I’ve been proud to be from the East Coast, but like you said..not lately…
I’ve never been shopping on Black Friday, and I never will. What the hell, people?
The mind just boggles. There are no words. I’ve never shopped Black Friday. Now my mother is begging me to take her to Best Buy so she can get a new camera. I’m considering wearing body armor and packing heat.
I grew up on LI and know what you’re talking about first hand. I moved away in 1998 and never looked back.
People are not like that everywhere else. Some places better, some worse.. but LI is definitely unique in that aspect.
I’ve never lived anywhere else where someone’s mother would punch someone in a silly dispute. But I’ve witnessed it. It ain’t pretty!
I wish I was shocked. But I'm not.
I worked retail the past five years, always on Black Friday, and the attitude never ceased to destroy my faith in humanity. I'm not just talking places like Best Buy or CompUSA either.. I worked at the fucking Apple Store for two Black Fridays, as someone who just repaired computers and didn't HAVE to sell a damned thing, and the attitude was even worse there. People screaming at me and threatening to call Steve Jobs & have me fired if I didn't pull another $999 MacBook out my ass. I guess the more money people are dropping in one place makes them even less of a human in the process. I will always hate retail because of those experiences, and I feel so sorry for those still stuck in it.
I have to say, though, that being in Long Island probably doesn't increase the rudeness of people by much. Here in the South it's just as bad. Sadly.
Kari, I think part of my lack of shock at the whole thing comes from having worked retail during the holidays for many years. Too many first hand experiences for me to be amazed at what happened. Still very much saddened, though.
The idiots that have so little regard for others are the products of the mom’s who – 25 years ago – had fistfights over Cabbage Patch dolls. Now their kids will stomp on another human and not care.
Despicable.
I travel a fair amount and am often shocked at the rude behavior of people. We are living in a time of such a “me” generation and it sickens me.
This was my third BF experience today, after vowing NEVER AGAIN after a woman started her own line at a non-opening door and got in a fight with the front of the real line when she tried to cut in a few years back.
I have to say that, while I was not at Walmart when it opened, I was at Target. When the door opened, the line did not surge, but moved in an orderly manner into the store. People seemed to be reasonable once they were inside as well. I was actually very pleasantly surprised by the civility, which in itself is sad. But yay for us!
I’m in the U.P. of Michigan, by the way. Yoopers FTW.
Wow. I could feel my blood boiling as I was reading your story. I was completely in shock when I read the LI story today. I just can’t imagine how people can behave this way. I also can’t picture people trampling over this poor employee who was probably at work since last night.
I am originally from Honduras and my friends/family make fun of BF. They actually make fun of the holiday weekend entirely. Feasting on tons of food, giving thanks one day per year, followed by a 3am shopping madness. I used to get defensive but then things like this happen… and have been happening for years. Is this really what Thanksgiving has become?
I live in Miami – I can’t tell you if people here behave the same way because I’ve never out on BF. Ever. And after reading your post and many others’ as well as the LI story, I know I won’t.
I’ve lived in four different states, various towns in each. I think a fair amount of the attitude is city folks vs. country folks. Not always, but definitely a factor.
We’re not city, but we’re not country, either. It’s like we are urban suburban.
Unfortunately, it’s everywhere. Well, not EVERYWHERE everywhere, but pretty much. I’ve come to realize that there are pockets of humanity and people who think of others, but most people think of themselves first always. And the trick is finding those pockets, as they’re the exception rather than the rule. I have an amazing amount of idealism and still have hope for people, but things like that make it hard.
I honestly hope every person who was in that store feels shame for the rest of their fucking life. And if it was me, and my greed had caused the death of a man who was just trying to make a living, I’d never be able to watch that fucking tv again for the rest of my life.
People suck. I stayed home all day.
Years ago, I did the same thing as you: Went to Wal-Mart at 5AM to get that Black Friday bike. I got the bike — and never left my house on Black Friday again.
Today I had a house full of family as Thanksgiving, Part II continued. Much better than chasing the shopping dragon.
I feel for that Wal-Mart worker. I’m hoping that the people responsible get more than a karmic reaction. They need to be held criminally responsibility — I hear that karma really kicks-in in prison.
I don’t have a lot to say. I’m just fucking furious. Reading this, like sween, I felt the rage building up.
When I first heard of this story today, it made me sick. The sad truth is it could have happened anywhere. But I do know what you mean about pushy New Yorkers, because I used to live there, and the only way to SURVIVE being in New York is to become mean and pushy. When you treat a New Yorker like shit, suddenly they back down and become human. If you try to be nice, they run over you. That was my day-to-day experience in New York.
I’ve never done Black Friday, and I can’t imagine ever wanting to do it. I can understand special circumstances, like you wanting to get your son that bicycle. And reading what you went through … I felt like I was there, and it made me want to punch some people in the gut.
So now I’m going to take a deep breath and calm down.
What SHOULD HAVE happened today is that WalMart should have closed ALL of its stores, IMMEDIATELY, nationwide, when this happened.
They shouldn’t be allowed to promote such a dangerous atmosphere.
It’s sad to think that this is only a blip on the radar of so many shoppers. I hope more people will care and not just be happy that they got whatever prize they were after today.
I can’t compare New York to other places. Although people can be rude and pushy there, they can be rude and pushy in other places as well.
I feel for that poor worker’s family. I wonder if they will sue WalMart. I’d love to see that. WalMart didn’t have a clear safety plan in place. They should make shopping safe and it obviously isn’t. People who participate in Black Friday — not all but some of them — seem to have this mob mentality. If the store can’t control it and people get hurt, the store should be held responsible.
There is no way I would ever go to a store on Black Friday. I dislike people (crowds) way too much.
Of course, my dislike strangely also translates into treating them with … erm, humanity when I go out? When I can’t be decent in public, I stay home.
Words to live by.
I can’t even stand the grocery store on Saturday morning. People are so fucking rude, I come with inches of lecturing random people. Evil people giving evil looks whenever someone interfers with THEIR shoppping. Oye.
That poor man. Those fuckers should be haunted by what they participated in.
That sort of stuff used to happen here (Australia) 10 years ago. People lost fingers when they got jammed in doors, trampled etc. I don’t remember anyone actually dying, but I could see that it is possible in that mad rush.
The Boxing day (Dec 26) sales here (our retail equivalent of Black Friday) are no longer the same. No more $50 TVs, no more $200 refrigerators. I’m not sure if the government stopped them or the retail traders association did it voluntairily for fear or legislation, but I was glad when those things stopped.
Still, I never head to the shops on Boxing day. I sit at home, drink some beer and watch the cricket. Now with the sales the same for 2 weeks it can wait, or I just buy online and avoid the crowds.
I hope none of these people gripe about saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. And that whatever they bought is covered in lead based paint.
-Emma
It’s not like that everywhere else. I’ve lived off Long Island for 10 years (in Florida) and every time I go back, I’m shocked by how rude so many people are. Sure people can be rude everywhere, but LI seems to corner the market on mob rudeness. I don’t know if it was different when we were kids, or if I just didn’t know any better, but trips there now are best kept short. It’s sad – geographically it’s a phenomenal place.
I really don’t know jack shit about Long Island. Been there once or twice.
I don’t think any place is immune from outfucking-rageous shoppers gone wild.
I don’t do Fridays after Thanksgiving and I never will. I’m in too good a mood and I don’t want it screwed up.
Like Ahtitan above I am a Yooper.
Of all the places I’ve been in the world (more than the average joe-I’m in South Africa right now), only possibly the U.P. might not experience something similar to the LI/wally World riots of 2008.
Yoopers FTW
It didn’t surprise me at all to see this story. I was actually in that Wal-Mart a couple of years ago piloting a server upgrade for my old company. After we were done, I asked the store manager the best way to get to the WM about eight miles away and got my introduction to Long Island hospitality when he said, “Like I have the fucking time to stand here and fucking help you.” We all just stood there with our mouths open, not quite believing that he was serious. He was. Believe me, people are not like that in most places, although from my experience, California is not much of an upgrade.
In 1984 my dad and I moved to San Diego from Seattle and couldn’t believe how rude the people down there were. So we moved back to Seattle. Then everyone in Southern California moved here after us, and now Seattle sucks too. All of Western Washington, really. Southern California invented “fuck you and gimme that bike.” In fact, I think that’s what they said to us when we stopped for gas on Interstate 8.
Personally, I blame the ’60s. Not the hippies, as much as the murdered president, the murdered civil rights leaders and the war that dragged on for 10 years after a majority of Americans disapproved of it. And then there was Watergate. I think Americans lost the ability to believe in the narrative of our morality, as a people or to admire our leaders. Cynicism was the only rational response to those kinds of sustained systematic betrayals, but cynicism blocks honest dialogue about moral and emotional issues. The romanticism that imposes moral imperatives can’t become manifest in an environment where people make Challenger Space Shuttle jokes.
Of course, the same romanticism that makes astronauts into angels makes it possible to turn Jews into demons. Ronald Reagan was a romantic, and his misty romantic idealism blinded him to all the warning signs and allowed him to lead the country right off an economic cliff. Hitler was famously romantic in his outlook. Custer. Idi Amin. As Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg once famously encapsulated the problem of romantic thinking when he said, “I don’t like warriors. Too narrow-minded, no subtlety. And worse, they fight for hopeless causes. Honor? Huh! Honor’s killed millions of people, it hasn’t saved a single one.”
So I suppose the question becomes, how do we keep romantic striving alive without generating unhealthy extremism?
I think the teachings of Jesus address this issue pretty well. I’m more Rambam than Jesus myself, but I know from my many debates with fundamentalist Christians that a basic tenet of Christianity is to be heroic in love — love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; love one another as I have loved you; and so on. I mean, those are some pretty bad-ass commandments. Fucking Superman would have a hard time sticking to those rules. And the extremism — the romanticism — implied is explicitly social and philanthropic. There’s no Jedi corollary — no circumstance under which you held back as long as you could, but now it’s time to employ devastating force in the service of good. Jesus commanded his disciples to love undo death and to leave the judging, exclusively, to him.
And… I don’t know what I’m saying. I’ve got a research paper due in 8 hours and I’m procrastinating. But it’s funny to me that people who are supposedly Christians celebrate the birth of the only leader in Western history who ever preached pure self-sacrifice and love by trampling each other to death in pursuit of a cheap MP3 player assembled by prison labor in a totalitarian Communist state that executes retards and children. I guess that’s all I’m trying to say.
I wonder if this is an outgrowth of two things:
1. The entitlement mentality. The “I DESERVE it, I MUST HAVE it, it doesn’t matter how many people I hurt.”
2. The “Every child gets a trophy!” mentality – the idea that we cannot, ever, let our children be disappointed. That it’s better to knock down a grandma in a walker than miss getting the last Littlest Pet Shop or whatever the hell it is. That we must shield our children from disappointment, and we will do that even if it means being cruel to our fellow humans. (Sort of, almost, a new form of tribalism, where the family is the tribe?)
I don’t do Black Friday. I loathe crowds…the closest I ever came to a real panic attack was in a shopping crowd. Besides, in my family we give silly inexpensive gifts that aren’t in high demand (and most are ordered off the Internet).
I wonder if we’re eventually going to see a division in America…the ill-mannered masses who see no harm in pushing and even trampling other people to get what THEY want, and those who are so disgusted by that mentality that they become hermits….
And like everyone else pretty much said, reading your story made me angry on your behalf. I’d love to find that big fur-coat woman and bitch slap her for taking the last bike and for being so evil to you that you left the store in a zombified state.
Seriously, sometimes I wonder if we should even GIVE gifts any more if it’s come to this…which makes me sad, because I love getting and giving gifts.