I was edging the yard today and I said “nothing pisses me off more than tangled up electrical cords.”
Then I thought, “Michele, that is just not true. There are a million things that piss you off more than tangled electrical cords. Maybe at this very moment, it is the one thing that is pissing you off enough to grit your teeth and kick a cat, but it is quite false – in fact, it is clearly hyperbole – for you to say that nothing pisses you off more than that.”
Yes, that is what I said to myself. Then I wondered, “Gee, what is the thing in life that pisses you off more than anything else?” I thought about nuclear testing and high taxes and restaurants that don’t put enough B on an BLT and people who never shut the hell up about their diets and toilet paper rolls that don’t have an obvious point at which to start unrolling and people who confuse you’re and your and how sometimes the local supermarket does not stock any normal flavored Kool Aids, just the stupid new flavors like presto magic chango mangoberryblueshit.
None of those are probably it.
What pisses you off more than anything else?
It’s a toss up between
a) assholes who run stop signs, then drive 15 MPH. I’m _always_ stuck behind those people. If I was paranoid I’d think there was some kind of cosmic conspiracy against me.
Or b) people who talk nonstop. My dad and I went to a Pirates game a few years ago, and the people behind us talked nonstop from the first pitch to the last. Literally. We were fixing to bust a few kneecaps that night.
Not quite sure, but yes, the your and you’re people? At least in the top three.
Idiocy: both general and specific.
–Toren
Nothing pisses me off more than bullies. Hate ‘em. Always have. Big people who use their size to intimidate smaller people. Assholes.
My roommate’s idea of clean. But he’s leaving in a month, so I’ll have to find something new then.
Well, in general, nothing pisses me off more than people who think the “rules” that make society work don’t apply to them.
In the specific: the a-holes who get into the 20-items-or-less line at the grocery with 52 items (yes, I can count, and I DO count, considering I’m stuck for-flipping-ever in line behind them) and who justify it as “I’m in a hurry!”
Oh, and like the woman behind you (me) with nothing but a carton of milk or a bottle of Advil couldn’t POSSIBLY be in a hurry.
Also, the people who park their cars in their driveway with the the stereo cranked up to 11 and the bass making the neighborhood shake at 2 am. Even 2 pm pisses me off, but 2 am – there’s gotta be a special place in Hell for people who disrupt the sleep of all their neighbors.
Jeff said…
The thing that pisses me off more than anything else is when people drive along in the left lane and don’t pass anyone or make a left. And when a whole string of people pass them on the right they don’t even appear to notice. And they sure as hell don’t move over.
I’ve never seen people do this more than here in Texas.
What pisses me off almost as much is the fact that no cops ever pull them over for it.
Two people, two shopping carts, going in opposite directions, stopping in the middle of the fucking aisle to have a conversation totally oblivious to the fact that there are other people waiting to get past them. Add hate points to them for looking at you like YOU’RE the asshole for saying, “Excuse me.” and interrupting their conversation.