[I am writing this via email, so I have no idea how it will look or if the formatting will come through. We'll call this blind blogging. I will have no idea if it worked til I get home]
Listen, I don’t mind if you have a fancy ringtone. I really don’t. Just because my phone is on vibrate/silent all the time, doesn’t mean you have to be as considerate as I, especially in the workplace. Thing is, I just might have a ringtone. But perhaps I don’t think everyone in the building needs to know about my Super Mario Brothers fixation, like you think everyone needs to know that you love that damn umbrella song. Maybe, just maybe, you can show some consideration and take the phone with you when you make your 50th bathroom run of the morning. Hey, I’m not knocking you there. I have a weak bladder as well. But unlike you, I do not leave my cell phone on my desk when I have to pee. You do. Ringer on, volume turned all the way up, knowing damn well that one of the kids is going call (because they seem to call every three minutes) and once again we will all be subjected to umbrella…ella….ella…ella….ella…ella…
This goes for you too, Mr. Take Me Out To The Ball Game. And you, with the Family Guy clip that plays every time your boyfriend calls. And you, with the Star Wars sound effects. Hey, I’m a big Star Wars geek myself, but listening to R2D2 beeps all day long makes me want to burn my action figures. I’m not saying give up your ringtones. Just please, either turn them off when you are at work or stop leaving your phone on your desk when you leave the office. It’s like we are being held hostage by your ringtone every time someone calls. We all now live in fear of your phone. When you get up and walk out the door, we cower and shake as the phone sits there on your desk like a ticking time bomb and, as sure as shit is brown, not two seconds after you leave the bomb goes off and it rains down a chorus of ella…..ella…..ella… on us.
Don’t be surprised when I sue you for post traumatic stress disorder.
Or when I furtively change your ringtone to Slayer’s Angel of Death.