Posted in Uncategorized, tagged movies, zombies on May 30, 2007 |
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First, let me say that I was never a fan of the first movie of this series, 28 Days Later. Everyone called it a zombie movie. No. Zombies are the living dead. These people are not dead. Therefore, not zombies.
Now that I have that out of the way, let’s cut to the chase.
This movie SUCKED.
I know, it’s horror movie and you shouldn’t expect much from horror movies. Unless they are touted as “art house” movies that defy cinemagraphic norms.
Moving the camera around in arcs and coloring everything so that it looks like high contrast photographs run through some cheap Photoshop filter does not a good movie make.
You need suspense. You need momentum. You need me to care about what is happening. Hell, I cared more about the flat characters in Day of the Dead than I did about the people in 28 Weeks. When 20 minutes into a movie I start thinking about how much longer til I can get out of the theater and pee and smoke, you’ve got a clunker on your hands.
No amount of gore and splattered blood and exploding eyeballs could keep me interested in anything but making mental notes of the plot holes and mistakes (I mean, could you really survive a chemical weapon attack by rolling up the windows in a car and putting your shirt over your face?) or counting how many close up shots of there were of the girl’s face.
So many stories here, and none of them explained or expanded upon. It could have been good. But no, it was like sticking your hand in a box of Cracker Jacks expecting a prize and getting just an empty prize wrapper. Maybe it would have been better if there as no expectation of filling in plot lines or back stories or explanations for things like why the kid and mother were carriers (I’m assuming it had something to do with the eyes, but who knows, they never explained it). If the movie had just been another mindless, plotless gorefest, I would have been ok with it. But don’t tease me with the beginnings of some depth and then suddenly cut me off by switching back to fake scares and shaky camera action to fill the space on the reel.
I really wanted to like this movie. I liked the premise. I wanted the answer to the question that most post apocalyptic zombie-type movies make me think: what happens after? Not only did this movie NOT answer my question, it just left me with more.
Like, what the fuck was I thinking by spending money on this crap?
Now, let’s go over this zombie thing again, shall we?
Zombies are the living dead. They do not run, they lumber. They are not beings who have been infected with some virus and go crazy. They are dead. They are slow.
Accept no substitutes.
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